Daily Diatribe

The results are in from the last poll, and if I were the Fiscal Fiend, aka Deputy Commissioner of Taxation Michael Carmody, I’d be quaking in my beige leisure suit; a large majority would really do something about the funds hoovered involuntarily from their wallets by an unaccountable and extravagant bureaucracy; a pity you are all too shitfaced to get off the couch and get another triple-taxed refreshing beverage, let alone take to the userous parasites with a well-deserved flame-thrower.

Unfortunately, I’m the same- once again in step with the majority, surprisingly like contributors to the latest Green poll.

Anyway, there’s a new one up on the right side of your browser, giving a wide range of options and seeking to get public opinion on just how the Howard government will use its majority in both houses of Australian government.

Vote like billy-O.

Every day in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank, Palestinian kiddies are being run over by Israeli armoured vehicles, waving Kalashnikovs at attentive media scrums or donning Semtex shreddies concealed in unfashionable parachute pants because they haven’t got derivitive American punk rock albums to listen to.

It’s about time to dig deep and help change this situation; don’t waste your hard-earned beer vouchers on making superannuated pillocks like Bono and Bob Geldof feel important by annoying hungry dark people, give ’til it hurts to Dean’s altruistic campaign:-

I’d prefer the Ramones myself, but buggers can’t be choosers. Once the urchins of Ramallah adopt a fully sik lifestyle, they’ll be too busy getting facial piercings and scuffing the knees out of Levis knock-offs to be worried about pushing those pesky Joos into the Mediterranian- after all, what sort of harm can a gluehead do, except self?

Reader Ozragger has come up with a worthwhile project:-

From lecherous Shane to the Iraq war in one short sentence?

We should have games like who can make the stupidest connection in the shortest sentence.

Eg. try to link something in the news, like let?s say, this year?s oversupply of grapes, to the ?children overboard?? case.
Or Wimbledon to the stolen generation.
Or floods in NSW to Guantanamo.

Sounds like a damn fine challenge; get to it in comments.

The pickings were pretty good today, but managing to draw an anology between bogan’s bogan Shane Warne’s predeliction for stray roots and the war in Iraq and Afghanistan took real talent:-

SHANE Warne is only one in a long list of people (including former US presidents) whose fame and power resulted in sexual excesses. Distasteful as this might be, it should be remembered that in most cases, these activities have been between consenting adults. Far worse is the scenario where individuals feel the need to satisfy their insecurity by waging war resulting in the death of the most vulnerable ? children.

Jack Goode

Mount Barker, SA

Apparently we’re at war against murderous Islamofascist thugs because John Howard and George W. Bush has tiny todgers. Go figure.

South Australia’s back in front in the loony leters to the editor stakes.

But how can you be happy when there are nuclear bombs aimed at starving whales and third-world babies are harpooned by heartless Japs to make toxic genetically altered food additives?

Give the moon-faced twat one from me, Captain.

Being perpetually outraged and fixing the world’s problems while celebrating diversity and showing culutral sensitivity is no laughing matter:-

Australians are about to be hectored and lectured by another wacky, hilarious pack of leftist activists, who despite their fundamental opposition to capitalism are descending downunder to promote a movie, released through those staunch anti-globalisation marxists United Artists.

The amusingly named Yes Men have managed to confuse a few third world ancestor-worshippers and first world dolts with a witless and obvious parody of the WTO website, and have infiltrated meetings full of bored delegates waiting for the free bar to open and been completely ignored, despite looking like a terrifying animated Logie statue.

No doubt it will be gushed over by B1 and B2 on At The Movies and the blithering idiots at the Movie Show, a few gerbils at Indymedia and Green Left Weekly and ignored by everyone else.

If you want some real commie-cred, turn up at the premiere in your snappy big white ring:-

which will indicate to fellow travellers that you’re a live one. (And a right one, it would seem, seeing as these cheesy bits of pointless crap were made in sweatshops in China, along with your t-shirt, jeans and sneakers, you trotskyite twat).

But what’s all that hypocrisy matter, when you’ve been filled in by Brad Pitt?

C points out that ANU academic Helen Hughes doesn’t share the beliefs of such luminaries as Bono and some geriatric fart from the Boomtown Rats on the benefits of debt forgiveness and offshore charity:-

The evidence that aid flows are inversely related to growth and development is incontrovertible.

The countries with the highest aid per capita (including Pacific countries) have had the slowest growth. But, in political terms, forgiving debt that they are not servicing from African countries is much easier than reducing the subsidies that western Europe, the US and Japan give their farmers at a cost of $300 billion annually to developing countries. So is increasing the volume of aid to $100 billion a year by Western taxpayers.

The international NGOs, led by Geldof and his singers, are facilitating yet another betrayal of Africa.

While these has-beens and fossils are noodling away on Saturday, I’ll be watching two horrible colonial first-world powers duking it out in a pointless, competitive exercise on a field surrounded by bloodthirsty neanderthals, drunk on imported beer and insulting foreigners. Sounds like fun.

Have those raggedy-assed motherfuckers from Greenpeace been on your case for burnin’ gas cruising in yo’ Caddy? Sure it’s tempting to tell them to fuck off old school wit’ a 9MM, but the pigs are gonna look differently on you cappin’ the competition and puttin’ some holes in some candy-assed white boy from the ‘burbs- y’all gonna end up with a no fun needle with that shit.

Here’s a way to have a badass ride with style that’ll let you keep an eye on yo’ bitches, and be all envirmental an’ shit.

Y’all can even get you fat ass fit on this motherfucker, and if Big Leroy takes to chasin’ you over that dumb dust that turned out to be crushed mothballs, that fat fuck will drop dead from all those barbequed ribs within a block.

Think globally, act locally, motherfucker!

From today’s op/ed in the Oz:-

SO, the US State Department views Iran as out of step with the rest of the region, naming Iraq, Afghanistan and Lebanon as examples (”Iran back to Islamic future”, 27/6). Well, yes. Iran has a stable democracy, relative prosperity and safety for its citizens with a conspicuous absence of war.

But it is not subservient to the US State Department. And the three other countries? Errr…

John Duley
Nerang, Qld

Where do you start dealing with a statement so glaringly idiotic? A stable democracy, if your definition includes brutal theocracy run by insane bandage-heads with beards like ZZ Top and a certain belief that western democracy is evil incarnate; relative prosperity, compared to Burkina Faso, which doesn’t have the third biggest oil reserves in the world; an absense of war? Well at least until it decides to take action to restore Allah to his rightful role as the true leader of Iraq, or when their nuclear reactor gets lit up by Israli commandos for the flight of inbound F-16s.

The editor must publish these gibbering idiots for a laugh- they’re certainly funnier than Leaky Bill’s cartoons.

Or at least turn your stomach and empty your wallet. The ABC’s 7.30 Report had an item last night gushing over the wonder of the world’s first cerebral palsy patient to give birth.

Not so long ago, people with physical disabilities had little or no control over their own lives. Not only were they actively discouraged from becoming parents, some state laws allowed them to be sterilised against their will. Times have changed, and these days, disabled people are encouraged to take their place in society and live as normal an existence as they can. For one profoundly disabled woman who has spent her entire life in a wheelchair and can’t walk or talk, having cerebral palsy has never got in the way of her ambition to have a baby. Now, in an extraordinary social and medical achievement, Saqiba Sattar has given birth, and doctors believe her case may be unprecedented anywhere in the world.

Ignoring for a minute the very high risk that the child would either carry the gene that caused the mother’s disability or actually be afflicted with the same disability, the crowing of the medical profession and associated patronising piffle from the ABC’s reporting staff was nauseating; it mirrored the waffle about the incredibly inept and irresponsible impregnation of a woman who already had quads with another set of same.

This is the sort of errant bullshit that stretches my normally libertarian outlook like Michael Moore’s thong- I don’t care who breeds, and how often, as long as they can afford the outcome. The bogans with the two sets of quads have a breadwinner who is a casual security guard- somehow I doubt that covers the costs of the existing five sprogs, let alone another four. Family benefit etc would be costing taxpayers a poultice to satisfy this woman’s uncontrolled maternal urges- and how was the IVF funded?

As to the woman with cerebral palsy, she would already be incurring considerable costs through receipt of the DSP and carer’s allowances to both her mother and husband, also the provision of a powered wheelchair, bed lift and vocaliser don’t come cheap; we now have to cough for child support and possible lifetime care of the bundle of joy; I fail to see the public benefit in either of these matters.

What wasn’t brought up was how the child was concieved- what sort of sick weirdo bonks a cerebral palsy victim? The other pertinent point is how on earth did this woman ever get a resident visa?

Saqiba Sattar was born in Fiji 20 years ago. There were complications during her birth which injured her brain, and meant she would spend her entire life in a wheelchair. While her mind is sharp, her body betrays her. Just like a newborn baby, she is totally dependent on on her husband and her mother for all her care.

A mild disability usually makes anyone ineligble for a visa; how on earth has someone who is profoundly disabled managed to migrate from Fiji?

I’ve never seen a more glaring example or rights overwhelming responsibilities.