Daily Diatribe

Mamdouh Habib isn’t letting the grass grow beneath his sandals now he’s free from the rigours of Camp X-Ray at Gitmo; rather than sit around and collect welfare while a pack of parsimonious pettifoggers try to find some government somewhere who’ll cough up a wedge of other people’s money to reward him for plotting against his adopted state, he has launched a number of enterprises.

The human dynamo (just don’t connect him up to some C4) has thrown himself into a number of endevours, encompassing fast food (just gotta try the Garfield kebab), merchant banking and his very own record label- keep an ear out for the El Zarqawi remix of Killing an Arab.

Why waste your time with welfare fraud and pointless lawsuits when the world’s your oyster (or Halal goats’ eyeball, anyway)?

If his already crowded schedule will allow it, Australia’s latest celebrity scourge of the infidel has fielded offers from Broadway and the West End, thanks to his new look:-

With Oliver Twist going back into production, he is heavily favoured for the role of Fagin:-

Producers will have to go to extreme measures to keep the ethnicity and faith of the character secret, however, or there could be unfortunate (and messy) consequenses for the front few rows.

On a related subject, can anyone rationally explain this?

Posting has been light of late, as my office PC has bocome infested with poxy adware/spyware, which breeds faster than a fourteen year old bogan and is more obnoxious and intrusive than the Australian Taxation Office.

How the deadshits who produce these blights think they will sell product by jamming an ad into the middle of someones’ work or popping up in the middle of reading email is beyond me, unless they are selling weapons and a detailed set of directions to the residence of the program writer, their sponsors, friends and distant relatives; I think tracking them down and pulling all their teeth out with rusty pliers is far too lenient, total revenge involving the eradication of their entire genetic footprint is warranted.

I’ve gotten rid of most of them, but there are a couple that are write-protected and change their names when you try to delete them; it’s looking like the only options are to try to track the files down in DOS or Windows safe mode and delete them, or a disc wipe and reload. Anyone with any other bright ideas?

At least I’ve got the ISP and adress of the provider of this marvel of marketing, and at the minimum a sling to the FCC is in order; a more deserved response would be the insertion of a Trojan that links up to some really nasty Rumanian kiddie porn/snuff sites and an anonymous tip-off to the Feds.

These bastards should have their bollocks nailed to a table, and then introduced to their guest for dinner- a peckish Armin Miewes.

The last post was in fact a cunning, well staged hoax! Had you all fooled, I’ll bet.

It is in fact a new installation I’ve been working on, the first title being “Shit Piece of Useless Fucking Shit Lawnmower! Sub-Tropical Climate My Hairy Bollocks!“.

After reviewing the post-modernist theme of the work, however, I’ve re-named it The Mechano-Industrial Complex Meets Nature- Nature Wins“. Where’s my grant? (I can buy a new mower, or better still hire some poor bastard to flail those photosynthesising fuckers, or better still concrete the lot so I can park more cars here).

A welcome home is planned today for returning hero of the anti-West set Mamdouh Habib at Bankstown’s Paul Keating Park (ain’t irony a wunnerful thing?), featuring such luminaries as Kerry Nettle and the usual retinue of rent-a-crowd ratbags.

Unfortunately the returning Anti-Johnny Jihadist wont be there so he can be greeted in the customary manner by the assembled throng (how many do you need for a throng? maybe more than Nettle and a half-dozen acid-fried sixties throwbacks).

Habib is going to be otherwise occupied indulging in a spot of culinary blasphemy, and trying to nut out a way of further screwing taxpayers with his longtime shyster and publicity slut Stephen Hopper, who stands to dip out big-time if the Attorney General continues to refuse to pay Habib something to which he has no entitlement.

Here’s a tip- Egypt Air flies out of SKSA three times a week to Cairo.

Now I know why everytime I stagger through Brisbane’s Fortitude Valley on my way home on Friday nights, I wake up with no memory and a sore arse- bloody aliens are landing in my back yard!

Here’s undeniable proof:-

The crappiest crop circle ever for sure, but being geometrically challenged doesn’t make them any less dangerous and vicious.

Maybe I need some alfoil underpants.

Joe Norland from Israpundit has organised a Blogburst for today, the 27th of January, to commemorate the sixtieth anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz by the advancing Red Army, and this site has been invited to take part- an honour indeed, and as we are closest to the international dateline we will be one of the first to publish.

Remembering the Wannsee Conference and the Liberation of Auschwitz

This article is posted by participants of the January 27, 2005, BlogBurst (see list at end of article), to remember the liberation of the Auschwitz death camp, sixty years ago, on January 27, 1945.

On January 20th, we marked the anniversary of the 1942 Wannsee Conference. In the course of that Conference, the Nazi hierarchy formalized the plan to annihilate the Jewish people. Understanding the horrors of Auschwitz requires that one be aware of the premeditated mass-murder that was presented at Wannsee.

Highlighting these events now has become particularly important, even as the press reports that ‘45% of Britons have never heard of Auschwitz’ (Jerusalem Post, December 2, 2004), (Link here).

The Holocaust, symbolized by Auschwitz, the worst of the death camps, occurred in the wake of consistent, systematic, unrelenting anti-Jewish propaganda campaign. As a result, the elimination of the Jews from German society was accepted as axiomatic, leaving open only two questions: when and how.

If remembering Auschwitz should teach us anything, it is that we must all support Israel and the Jewish people against the vilification and the complicity we are witnessing, knowing where it inevitably leads.

The main thing is to make sure this sort of shit never happens again.

UPDATE The full text of Joe’s essay is now up- go and read the whole thing.

Below is listed all participating blogs and websites:-

In fact almost as blurry as the selection of low-resolution phone-camera snaps below:-

Andy Murphy of Special Sauce in an atypical pose; Todd MacKenzie of likewise site holds forth on the terrible loss to the nation represented by the premature retirement of Mark Latham; the delightful Darlene Taylor, who proved utterley charming- what she was doing fraternising with a pack of alcoholic louts with the manners of Koreans I have no idea; Marty Kidd from the Rat Pack acts responsibly by only consuming mid-strength beer and utilising public transport; Marty is also a mamber of the Young Liberals- how do you possibly hope to outrage your parents and be disinherited with that sort of behavior, young man! Get some piercings and a drug habit immediately!

Chief Bastard uses a scintillating display of reason, interspersed with witty and jocular japes, to put forward the proposal that the pub should not shut at midnight; an acquiantance of CB who is obviously not a blogger, as he managed to pull a female on the night- most of us have that perfect combination of obnoxiousness and self-importance that makes us as attractive to females as roadkill.

That’s right- the pub had the temerity to close at midnight, leaving CB and myself still thirsty; a brief stroll across the Storey Bridge only served to further parch our throats, which were finally slaked by stumbling in to Dooleys in the Valley. A few more bevvies and a dodgy kebab later, it was time to really celebrate Invasion Day by lapsing into a coma. We must do it again sometime.

Anorexic author Phillip Adams has used personal insult and invective to describe likely new Labor leader Kim Beasley, before getting to the heart (complete with blocked arteries) of his opposition to the likely opposition leadership.

WE’RE told that Kim’s ambitions have been rekindled, that there’s fire in the Beazley belly. Truly an awesome thought. Internal combustion on that scale would be Vesuvial, Krakatoan. Political seismologists are awaiting the wild dance of the Richter needle.

That’s rich, coming from the producer of techtonic turds and seismic shits- possibly responsible through his behemoth bowel movements for more injury, death and financial ruin than a three-term Labor regime.

Phil soon gets to the meat (followed by fish, dessert and a 44 gallon drum of gravy) of the matter:-

Another ex-PM, Malcolm Fraser, points out that there’s not a single issue on which Beazley “is on the left of me”.

The big question about Beazley remains. In Howard’s words, does he have the ticker? Many of Kim’s closest friends acknowledge that, although he’s long wanted to be prime minister, he hasn’t wanted it enough. For years I’ve seen him, for good or ill, as the ALP’s counterpart to Al Gore.

I’d say Kimbo’s got a fairly substantial sort of cardiac pump, given the massive distance it’s required to pump blood, and the constricted vessels it’s required to pump through; as to the comparison with Al Gore, I think it’s a little unfair- after all, Beasley has yet to produce any real evidence of being completely insane. As to the Malcolm Fraser quote, that merely puts Beasley higher in my estimation; mind you, there’s very little that Beardy Boy would be to the left of Malcolm on these days.

Elsewhere, the soon-to-be extinct Australian Democrats have given the kiss of death to ALP leadership wanna-be Woody Woodpecker, by throwing their feeble support behind her.

“Like we’ve got to- she’s a chick” stated temporary leader Lyn Allison. “Why worry about ability or suitability when there’s gender inequality to be addressed? She might be a complete dickhead, and incapable of even controllng her bodily functions, but we’d support her automatically. Pity she’s not black as well- I’d get an extra merit badge and a gold star.”

Having just lectured and hectored on the evil of strong drink and the dreadful behaviour that can result from its consumption, it’s time once again to get on the piss with a pack of yobs that make Bob Santamaria seem like a commie.

It appears the usual crew will be in attendance, with the novel situation of a female present- the lovely Darlene has promised to grace us with her presence, so for once we will have to remain in pants until at least until the ladies lounge opens.

Of course anyone’s welcome to turn up as long as they bring money; elsewhere SE Queensland’s resident bolshie bloggers are seeking to set up a rival alcoholic advocacy- could be good for a laugh, especially if we can get Barto back on the pop.