Daily Diatribe

Fresh on the heels of fellow Gravetteer Alan Anderson once again infiltrating the Fairfax fairy bower, another (sometime) Gravett blogger turns up in Rupert’s big broad organ.

James Morrow looks at the hairy, noisy and ugly crowd surrounding the Republican convention in NYC, and doesn’t like much what he sees- and more importantly questions just what influence the infestation of a few city blocks by a mass of complete raving dingbats is going to have; I came to much the same conclusion, and the Coalition would be quietly pleased if a large number of our very own facially-pierced, rancid dreadlock crowned, tie-died, drum-beating, didgeridoo-playing, evil-smelling idiots took to the streets, preferably accompanied by Bob Brown and Kerry Nettles.

UPDATE Australia’s favourite expatriate propagandist for the enemy since Wilfred Burchett has added his own two dinars worth to the US presidential race, concluding the candidates are both dangerous fascists hellbent on introducing compulsory Mickey Mouse Ears and inane smiles to the third world.

I await him throwing his sizeable weight behind Nader for El Presidente’.

If you were wavering in your decision to put the nation in the hands of a borderline psychotic leading a mixed bag of dud lawyers, union hacks and lunar zealots or leave it in the control of a crew who’ve been in office for three terms and who’ve done bugger-all in real terms, consider this- in his weekly commentary on the world at large, Terry Hicks claims that the only way his possibly homicidal, religiously-intolerant offspring will make it back to our shores in a big hurry is if Labor wins the federal election.

What better way to get swinging voters behind you than a policy for release into the community of crazed religious fanatics with a pathological hatred of secular democracy? A guaranteed winner.

Good old Terry- where would we be without him?

Maybe they went out hoping to score a little head.

On the subject of ugly drunks, Democrats leader Andrew “boozefighter” Bartlett has issued a dire prediction based on current polling showing an ALP victory in the house of reps (on their preferences) and Co-alition control of the senate, resulting in a constitutional bloodbath.
Like he and his coterie of extortionate imbeceles were so amenable to passing legislation when they were in the position of holding the balance of power, not even a clear majority; the disappearance of the Democretins from the face of the planet cannot come soon enough for me.

However, should the demo-demise come at the price of upper-house control by the increasingly demented and despotic Bob Brown,

it will be at too high a price.

UPDATE Slatts, the Currency Lad, Al Bundy and Mudguts have their own Green platform, and it’s not one 100 feet up a 400 year-old gum tree in some godforsaken tract of ugly scrub; actually, it’s more like a more useful utilisation of forestry products.

UPDATE 2 Todd MacKenzie’s back, and joining the mob with flaming torches descending on the Brownenstein castle. Welcome back, mate!

UPDATE 3 Alan Anderson has joined the fray, maybe without a burning torch but something equally nasty to scorch the nethers of the growing Sullen Green Giant.

UPDATE AGAIN Steve Edwards has a plethora of information on Green perfidery. Go see, then fuel your chainsaw.

Following the resistance-free daylight theft of our happy little sidebar mascot from the Munch museum in Oslo last week, an armed blag has been carried out on an armoured car with unarmed guards, the only slight attempt at law enforcement being carried out by a porno movie crew.

Rather than trying to send Afghan and Iraqi illegal immigrants to the Tampa’s home port, why not send our surplus drug-addict armed robbers? They can score a good dividend without the risk of being shot by some over-zealous security guard and drift off into overdose-land free of bullet holes, and the highly socialised Norwegians can feel all warm and goo-ey over helping one of society’s rejects to a better place, free of judgement and stigma.

Two French journalists kidnapped by terrorists in Iraq have appeared on El Jazeera pleading for the French government to rescind the ban on open display of items of religous identification in the secular French e’cole system, and for the French public to demonstrate to force the government’s hand.

How unexpected- rather than saying fuck you, mister Islomofascist goat-pilot douchebag, and the camel you rode in on, two Frogs are on tape blubbering like bitches. Vocal opposition to the liberation of Iraq has done you a lot of good, hasn’t it, you gastropod-gorging capitulating collaborators.

When is the penny going to drop that these tea-towelled turds want nothing short of our complete surrender and adoption of their atavistic beliefs and lifestyle?

The campaign has only been going for a day, and it’s already boring the pants off me; the US presidential race seems to be having the same effect on these pixies-

Yes, I know- it’s a shameless attempt to slut some traffic from google, what with featuring naked hairy lesbians!

I can’t work out is why people who hate Bush so much have so much bush.

The streets were clogged with nearly every dingbat, ratbag and astral-traveller in the tri-state area, all with a their own particular barrow full of grievance to push; obviously finding gainful employment or grooming and skin-care were not highly featured areas of complaint.

One thing with having all these little urchins in town, they can be relied upon to be on their best behaviour:-
…some of them hissing or cursing at well-heeled couples heading to popular Broadway musicals like “Thoroughly Modern Millie” and “Fiddler on the Roof.”

“We were talking to delegates as they came by. We were very calm,” said Brendan, 23, an organic farmer from upstate New York, adding he was thumbing his nose at the crowd with other hecklers before police intervened. “You do anything a little out of the ordinary here and they arrest you.”

You’ve just gotta beat up on those fascist theatre-goers; Fiddler on the Roof? Obviously part of the International Jewish Conspiracy.

Not all the good burghers of the five boroughs have been quite so supportive of having their free passage blocked by idiots juggling in crap jester suits, cretins with big paper mache’ heads and ugly, strident women, who seem to be demanding impregnation:-
Also on Friday night, a monthly bike ride organised by cyclist rights group Critical Mass turned into a two-hour protest involving 5000 people that disrupted traffic.

Yesterday, about 20,000 people walked across the Brooklyn Bridge in support of a reproductive rights.

A man after my own heart- I hope he didn’t scuff up his paintwork- colour matching is quite difficult with those Rover metallics.

How would you like to be there when the impound crew crush those bicycles?

And how will they resist those satin flares? Bet none of you knew he was a disco superstar, but how could he be anything else? He is after all a bogan who was in his twenties in the ’80s. Who knows- this might even pick him up some of the habib vote.

Over in Fairfax Fairyland, the sole voice of balance and reason Alan Anderson reviews the field, and concludes there’s a fairly clear difference; the main one I can see is if the One ‘Nad Lad get his arse in the Lodge, it’s going to cost us a bomb in compo for all the comcar drivers he’ll duff up- I don’t think John Howard’s snotted one yet.

Following all the kerfuffle about John Winston using his son’s firm to spam email boxes, I trust all those members of the perpetually outraged will be equally indignant about the ALP-backed site John Howard Lies spamming electors, as reported by Bushy. Anyone who feels the urge to return the favour can do so to info@johnhowardlies.com; I’m sure they’d be interested in Nigerian investment oportunities, trouser enhancement and startling lottery luck.

If you can’t think of a single good reason to support the Republicans in the upcoming Presidential race, consider this- they may be degenrate nazis who are hell bent on starting WW3 with those pesky Arabs, fleecing the poor so Donald Trump can get a decent hair transplant and secretly plotting the re-election of the equally satanic John Howard, but to the average red-blooded horny (and aggressive lesbian) voter they’ve got the best funbags; If you doubt this, do the test.

If you still doubt, just imagine this- Hillary Clinton naked……(involuntary shudder).

Teresa might have money, but sheesh; soooo-eeeeee is not being too harsh, I feel;

Even Lurch is looking to trade up, but his intended doesn’t look too keen on the idea-

Maybe she’s heard about his collection of ear necklaces.

Hat-tip to Slatts for the Kerry/cow photo, and he also seems to have uncovered another fraudulent Kerry claim about his maritime service record.

UPDATE SWIFTVETS has a new ad regarding Lurch’s holiday in Cambodia.