Daily Diatribe

Looks like rodent-like fundamentalist Islamic cleric Abu Bakir Bashir is back to the pokey, this time to face charges of involvement in the Bali bombing.

Hopefully some inmates will make him very welcome, and give their views on the Koran’s edicts on man on man action; after all, isn’t Indonesia an Islamic nation, and thus homosexuality illegal?

I’m sure there’s some Indonesian Bubbas who can make him put those choppers to use chomping the kapok; and if he doesn’t like it, he can always chew his way out.

***UPDATE(No pun intended)***Whiny Adelaide father of a Bali victim and now candidate for the next federal election Brian Deegan is peeved about Toothy-Boy having his turban felt; “there goes my whole platform; sure Alexander Downer is a pompous public-school pratt, but all the buggers who croaked my son are in the jug. Maybe I can get a daughter to bugger of to Southern Thailand, or maybe Mindanao. Who knows- I might get lucky.”

Thai Islamic fundamentalist group PULO has warned tourists to stay clear of popular tourist areas in the Malay peninsula nation following insurgents fighting for the group having the shit kicked out of them by Thai authorities.

Like Australian perverts are going to forego a root and a skinful of Singha to satisfy the moralistic urges of a pack of poorly armed Koran-waving peasants.

They seem to have heaps of popular support as well, and why not?

After all, they have this sort of shit to look forward to under the benevolent rule of these Allah addled arseholes:-
Damare, a small Sudanese boy was taken as a slave and forced to tend camels after his village was attacked by radical Muslims. One day Damare, who had been raised in a Christian home, snuck away from his master to attend a church service. When he returned, his Muslim master was waiting for him and accused of committing a deadly act, “meeting with infidels.” The master then dragged Damare into a field where he nailed his feet and knees into a large board while the boy cried out in agony…………….Can’t beat a life of slavery, subjugation, starvation and amateur carpentry when the choice is pirate Arnie DVD’s, a few tallies of Kloster, a Honda step-thru scooter and a girlfriend wearing less than the Elephant Man; a pretty hard decision for sure.

Those kooky indymedia types in Brisbane had some wacky japes planned to disrupt ANZAC day:-

Throw PLENTY of marbles, golf balls, beeds,(sic) ball-bearings and batteries onto the streets during their ?parade?. Make the bastards fall down! Stop their war machine and their ?defence? of the indefensible!

….Horsies hate nails, screws, bolts and broken glass on the street ? and are likely to stop moving if they see them or walk over them. Car tyres can also be deflated if there is enough on the streets. They should be emptied right as the parade is coming, or better yet ? during! Pieces of broken glass can be carried in a backpack if it is stored in a tupperware container with a strong lid…

And so-on; funnily enough none of these pranks came to fruition, and no surprise- to carry them off it would involve hippies being out of what passes for a bed for them before mid-day.

(From PNN).

*The main opportunity missed was for these herbal half-wits to have the living snot beaten out of them by octogenerians had they attempted any of this bullshit- now that would have been funny.

In order to boost their standing among the nation’s intellegencia, national yoof network JJJ featured some high-brow discourse with sometime (why, I have no idea) columnist and truly awful bass-player for an even worse band Emma Tom, who proceded to yammer for five minutes about her tits.

While Ms. Tom’s mammaries may be her sole attractive feature, and by far her most intellectual, I would have thought that gratuitous tit references were hardly politically correct- female appended offspring nourishing glands would be the correct term in ABC speak.

In the background, the two thirty-plus on air gibbons giggled like twelve-year-olds at the mention of tits- when they say youth, they mean youth; if this station gets any more juvenile it will be aimed at the gestating foetus market.

Earlier in the week they featured the desperately unfunny Terri Psiakis, who apparently is in rural Victoria annoying, boring and irritating yokels with her inane routines with a troupe calling themselves the Comedy Roadshow - comedy roadkill being just wishful thinking.

Just for a change, this roadtrip for the humour deprived is being funded by you dills through the generosity of yet another previously unheard of dollar-dispenser called Playing Australia; I thought government was committed to reducing youth suicide in the bush, yet here they are sponsoring a program guaranteed to increase depression, alienation, frustration and a sense of isolation- after all, if they are shown these cretins as the pinnacle of Australian comedy, swallowing a shotgun barrel will seem hilarious in comparison, or at least blessed relief.

We’ve managed to reach the illustrious heights of a (positive) mention in the SMH’s Blogjam.

I would have thought crotchety old ratbags such as those that infest this site would be persona non grata over in Margoville.

My old mate Shane has come up with a range of kiddies books, but seems to have trouble finding a publisher:-

Dana Vale is not a flip flop floozy, she is a complete fucking imbecele.

Apologies, mate.

The Broadcasting Control Board has insisted… alright, readers have insisted- we don’t give a Bob Brown about censorship; anyway, we now have a content warning system.

Whenever a post carries any Niall content or links, the above image of a demented hippy banging a cowbell for no apparent reason will appear.

This site accepts no responsibility for brain damage, frothing rage or uncontrolable projectile vomiting resulting from reading the item or following links once the warning has been posted.

That is all.

Troppo Armadillo has a flash on the High Court appeal by DILGEA over the family court’s jurisdiction on immigration detainees; unanimous.

This lower court decision was even too fruity for the remaining lemurs on the High Court bench.

***UPDATE*** A group of concerned and caring cretins calling themselves CHIL’ OUT (Children Out Of Detention- pretty hip, eh? Should attract the crucial homeboy demographic) have expressed dismay at the High Court ruling, calling for the Commonwealth to overturn their own legislation, popular as it may be, to appease a couple of dozen hairy-legged tub-thumpers with too much time on their hands.

There’s a voting bloc both major parties would love to pick up.

Just updated on the Geoff Clark blog- the lineup of learders (sic) ATSIC has come up with to take the organisation back to where it belongs- at the cutting edge of malfeasance, mis-appropriation, misogyny, maladministration and Mister Magoo myopia of their mission.

Those highlighted by numbers may have to forgo their duties from time to time, as they may be required to undertake some community enhancement duties; the fictitious cartoon character is looking the best bet for efficient administration and good governance.

(Picture enhancement by Bushy, spelling by Clarkie).