Daily Diatribe

Yes, the Dim Dems have actually had an idea; unfortunately, like the party itself it is stupid, irrelevant and inconsequential.

the most urgent matter to stir their collective intellegence is the dire situation of consumtion of alco-pops by rug monkeys.

I know in my neighbourhood the streets are full of pissed-up pre-teens, drunkenly brawling and vomiting in my hedge.

The Democrats answer to this minor social problem and lack of parental supervision? Use legislation to ban a legal product.

Thank Jeebus we won’t have to listen to any of their lame gibberish after the next election.

Everything you need to know about what’s wrong with the Liberal party is right here.

This jumped up power-chasing upstart has tried to weasel his way into the ALP, but was too repulsive, duplicitous and ambitious even for them, so has wormed his way into the safest blue-ribbon seat in Australia- he hasn’t the bottle to try and win a marginal.

We are constantly reminded of his success and achievement, and while he has done OK it’s not as if he came from disadvantage; with his contacts with the right people and big money, if he couldn’t do well he would have to be a complete cretin.

The Liberals have proved dissapointing in their reluctance to curb spending, crush the ABC and generally get the fuck out of people’s business, but giving this toad a seat on a platter makes their other failures pale into insignificance.

Pete from the Bitchen Monaro Guide has a link to an item where a particularly novel excuse was presented for not voting in the recent Queensland state elections.

Didn’t matter much; she might have been royally rogered, but in the end it was the Queensland electorate who wound up seriously fucked.

Three more years of that inane grin, fiscal ineptitude, ministerial incompetence and embarrasing parochialism.

When is there going to be an effective alternative to rotten, corrupt and factionally driven Labor state governments?

Another columnist with The Australian seems to have adopted the Phillip Adams method of producing original output, that being knocking off someone elses.

Susan “Marxist” Mitchell’s Saturday column is virtually identical to Moonbat Maureen Dowd’s gibberish in Thursday’s NYT.

The phrasing has been changed, but the entire direction of both columns is identical; who plagiarised whom? Or was it a case of if great minds think alike, do tiny minds do likewise?

Can we expect to see David “Maggot” Marr giving Slippery Sue a pasting with a feather duster on Media Watch?

Out of the mailbox this morning, attached to a promo for porno:-
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle. She picked it up and rubbed it, and ‘low-and-behold’ a genie appeared! The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, “Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I’m a one-wish genie. So… what’ll it be?”
The woman did not hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony.”
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I’m good but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable.”
The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for … a good man.”
The genie let out a sigh and said, “Let me see that fuck-in’ map again.”

Also, this convincing effort:-
_Dear Citicard Cleint,

kzMhZOGtIcuCIZzY

The spelling errors were the clincher- it has to be authentic; I sent them my details immediately, even though I don’t have a Citibank card.

And this begging missive from the Ivory Coast:-

DEAR SIR,

P.S MY MOM NAME IS MRS GLORIA CRAIG ????????..

Two and a half big ones to get a tit chopped off in Africa? Hell, most of the local yahoos do that for fun. Sorry, Jonhson Gloria, you’ll just have to wait for the next marxist uprising.

Want to have the lairiest Valiant Pacer, Monaro or Skyline GT in the Department of Transport impound lot?

Get yourself a set of spinning rims!

They keep spinning even when the vehicle is stationary! Chicks think they’re really hot! Fully sick, bro!

Just left Ballymore in Brisbane, after seeing the Queensland Reds beat the tripe out of Waikato, and had to witness hordes of uniformed police making sure that the white, middle-class crowd didn’t tip over cars, set fire to things or hurl objects at the assembled plod.

I saw miscreants being grabbed for such heinous activities as having a quiet piss in a dark car park and walking outside the ground with a plastic cup of light beer.

Glad to see the same standards of oppression are applied to we land-raping cultural vandals as is assigned to the “original inhabitants” of this wide brown land; we wouldn’t want to think that political considerations came into the response to the Redfern riot.

The NYT has a bit more info on Senator John Kerry’s activities in support of the aggressively communist regime of North Vietnam.

According to the staffers at The Times, Kerry was a bit of a puss and not radical enough for the yahoos and yippies; the description of troops raping babies and torching hooches was a bit limp.

The fact that the stories were fraudulent don’t seem to be a matter of contention.

If they were true, how does a skipper on a river patrol boat know what the fuck grunts in the field are up to?

This horse-headed dick has to get the Democrat nomination; he couldn’t beat time with a bass drum.

Mendacious Moonbat George Monbiot really needs to get a girlfriend, take up drinking, or top himself.

Mickey Mouse is a symbol of American corporate hegemony?

Yeah- and the Lightburn Zeta is a symbol of Australian automotive excellence.

When’s the last time you saw someone wearing a Michael Mouse t-shirt?