Daily Diatribe

The faltering campaign of former General Wesley Clark is in dissaray following the apparent spontaneous eruption in Taiwan of major supporter Michael Moore.

Moore was in Taiwan to confirm to the Taiwanese that under a Clark presidency, they would be handed over to the care and control of the clearly enlightened regime in Beijing.

After taking on his usual several tons of viddles, the film-maker with his own zip-code was being transported back to his hotel when he suffered an attack of indigestion.

Before a dump-truck of sodium bicarbonate could be delivered to the ailing auteur, the build up of gas proved too much and his explosive entrails were splattered all over several blocks.

The Clark campaign is still trying to come to grips with this disaster, and are now facing prosecution from the Taiwanese Environmental Protection Agency.

Bush cost me my job, my kids and my houses

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak my mind. I lost my job this past year. When Clinton was president I was secure and prosperous, but in the last year, we had to close our operations. We simply could not compete with foreign labor. This foreign labor worked for low pay under very bad conditions.

Saddam Hussein

Bombastic Behemoth Phillip Adams has finally taken a long hard look in the mirror (it must have been one made for the Hubble telescope) and has found the stark realisation of his supercillious nature:-
Yet 50 years on, I have the nerve to sermonise and criticise, patronise and pontificate.

Unfortunately he is only referring to his own grotesque gluttony.

And by the way, Fat Boy, it is a Chiko Roll, not a chicken roll; really in touch with the working class, aren’t you, you aperetif’-addicted arsehole.

It has always been the aim of this site to bring all the people of the world together for a big group hug, whether they be Chinks, Zipperheads, Spics, Wops, Wogs, Goat Pilots, Kikes, Curry-Gobblers, Dinks, Abos or any other ethnic or racial grouping I haven’t villified.

In order to assist communication between others and a much-maligned socio-economic grouping which includes several racial types, we now have a link to the Snoop Dog Badass Nigga Gangsta Rap Translator.

Highly useful for chatting with our Lebanese brothers from the Bankstown area, and rich white idiots wearing baggy pants and signing each other like arthritic epileptics.

Everyone seems to be picking on poor little Rob Corr, a bitter and twisted leprechaun with lefty leanings and a hugely inflated idea of his wit and charm.

If your the sort who enjoys pulling the wings off flies, tripping cripples and teasing Green Left Weekly vendors, hop on over and have some fun.

The National (as opposed to National Socialist) Party candidate for the seat of Whitsunday (pictured, in his Scoutleader uniform) is alleged to have connections with the Australian Nazi Party.

Personally, I am shocked; a Dutchman who’s a Nazi! Never!

Whatever next- an Irish Catholic with sympathies towards the ALP?

BBC staff are concerned that the apology by the broadcaster and resignations of senior executives over the incorrect, unresearched and blatantly biased reportage over intellegence on WMDs in Iraq will lead to a loss of independence.

ABC staffers have expressed similar disquiet- after all, if you have to be responsible for what you write, publish and broadcast, what’s the point of working for a public broadcaster? Might as well scuttle off to Fox or CNN.

Why do we continue to tolerate these public-funded propaganda outlets for the fundamentalist left? All public broadcasters should be put on the market, and their staff subject to market forces- how much do you reckon Phillip Adams would score for his Radio National audience of 13,000?

I could almost tolerate the ABC if it was independent, even in editorial content; it is so obviously one-eyed it has become a joke. (True independence would of course include financial independence).

Not only are public broadcasters in the thrall of undergraduate social engineering ideals, they are so amateurish as to be pathetic.

Watching the ABC News last night, the backlight slides were out of synch (one of which was hilarious- about the Democrats, two thirds of the name was out of frame and we were treated to an item about the Pudgy Purple Pisshead with the highlighted motif RAT in the background; TEE HEE), various items were mis-spelled and mis-pronounced and the captions failed. (Someone probably chundered all over the mixing panel in the control booth).

Fuck “Friends of the ABC”; I want to start “Enemies of the ABC”.

***UPDATE***The usual suspects are flooding the op/ed pages with lame excuses, flat out denials and incomprehensible tangents to try to distract attention from the fact that they have been completely, utterly and comprehensively found to be dickheads.

I would have thought that fans of self-loathing would be relishing the opportunity to wallow in their own disgrace.

OOPS, I forgot- it’s only we plebs that should feel guilt and shame- the smug, self-rightous and supercillious are above all that.

I had the misfortune to be listening to Radio National on my way to the office this morning, and Peter Thompson had a guest on air who I think had one too many cases of the bends, and several large bubbles of nitrogen made their way to his brain.

Gavin Menzies, a retired pommy submarine jockey, has come up with a theory that the Chinese discovered Australia, America, the Arctic and Antarctic, and as far as I can gather Pluto as well.

As this theory (fruity as it may be) insults the idea that western people had the moral fortitude and technology to explore and develop these areas, of course the ABC was all over it like a cheap suit, just as any attempt to challenge the currently accepted paradigm of Australian settlement and accompanying genocide (as per Keith Windschuttle) is met by the ABC with derision.

Submarine Boy claims that not only did the Sino-sailors discover all these places, they settled many of them; given the birth rate of central Asia, why aren’t all these regions teeming like Hong Kong or Guangzou? (Or were perhaps the landing parties later the entree’?)

Go and have a look at this fine body of work; those Chinese ships must have been something to behold- he claims the the fleets of both Columbus and de Gama would fit in the holds of one of these vessels; this would put them in the current size category of a Panamax bulker; must have used a shitload of bamboo.

Dr. Louise Newman, representing the Society of Fat Ugly Ratbags With No Lives Masquerading As Shrinks, has dismissed the findings of the medical review team who have just returned from Nauru, who have basically described the month-long “hunger strike” by illegal immigrants as “bullshit”.

“Just beacause the strikers continually licked their greasy chops and picked food fragments from their teeth while patting their groaning and distended bellies while the review team was there, doesn’t mean they weren’t starving in their imaginations.” prattled the morbidly obese gorgon.
“I wanted to go myself, because if they really were on a hunger strike, I could have scoffed all the surplus grub. Is the cake shop open?”