Daily Diatribe

Here’s some lovely cartoons to download, featuring the Happy Tree Friends!

The marketing blurb for them says “They’re so cute and adorable you’ll want to squeeze them ’till their little eyes pop out!

Unfortunately Flippy the cuddly little bear has regular Vietnam flashbacks that cause him to go fully postal; go and look, and make sure the kiddies are with you!

Now that Simple Simon has taken the hint and fallen on his sword, (Jeebus, it’s nearly as hard to ditch an ALP leader as it is a slow Wallaby captain), the party politburo is faced with choosing one of the Three Stooges.
Who will it be out of:-
CurleyMoeor Larry?

Who wouldn’t like to be John Howard now?

Anyone catch the highly professional presentation of the Walkley Awards on SBS TV last night?

I’m surprised SBS didn’t pick one up for their consumate abilities exhibited during the broadcast; the image pixilated out several times, there were two inexplicable crosses to some soccer game with Becks looking bewildered, then finished 20 minutes early- they deserve a gong for the last bit, if nothing else.

I think I saw the commercials pick up two (both of which were sponsored by them), the rest mainly going to the ABC, SBS and Fairfax.

Four Corners recieved one for “best feature documentary” for an item about Woomera detention centre; apparently it is admirable to fabricate evidence, incite ethnic pinheads to injure themselves and ignore any information that doesn’t suit the particular barrow you happen to be pushing.

By far the best item was Paul McGeogh of the SMH copping one for “journalism leadership”, apparently for his reportage from Iraq.

If ever there were a journalist who has demonstrated outstanding acts of courage and bravery in the practice of journalism, it must be Paul McGeough.

Apparently it is couragous to parrot empty-heads like Robert Fisk and Pilger, and make dozy generalisations to ABC “Lateline” in front of mandatory palm trees.

I always thought that any profession that requires regular glad-handing, prize nights and awards is pretty insecure and posessed of very low self-esteem.
In this case, the low self-esteem is justified; they are held in very low esteem by the rest of us.

Regular contributor “Bushy” advises that the Taffs are trying to knock off a silly Spanish tradition, and make it even sillier:
The Welsh town of Cowbridge may mark its 750th anniversary with a replica of Spain’s famous Pamplona bull run - but using cows, in homage to the town’s name. However, one organiser said: “It is an intriguing idea, but cows are fairly slow. It may be a non-starter.”

May we assume next we’ll hear of a similar stunt in NZ, using sheep instead of bulls or cows.
Of course the Kiwis will be chasing the sheep…..

I thought it happened in Un Zud on Newe Year’s Eve anyway.

Islam And Intolerance - again from “Bushy”

I found this interesting since it indicates how difficult a task a Muslim has to be religious and an American. Written by a former Muslim, now a Christian

Spiritually, no. Because when we declare “one nation under God,” the Christian’s God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as our heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in the Quran’s 99 excellent names.

Which ever bit of plastic you have, get out and run it up to the limit- that’s what Chrismuss is all about, that and getting shitfaced at office parties and groping the typist, and maybe photocopying your arse.

Any credit card providers who want to sponsor this site, hit the email adress, and I’ll flog your product harder than the Caucus is flogging Simon Crean.

Just when you thought the Istanbul attacks were the worst on a Jewish place of worship since World War 11, plans have emerged for the most vile outrage yet;
working through an intermediary, El Que’da have managed to launch a diabolical plot to expose worshipers at Sydney’s great Synagogue to the horrors of “Fuckin’ Barnsie”.

Surely the use of Sarin nerve agent for the assault would have been merciful compared to exposing the faithful to the strained, crackly screeching of a brain-damaged alcoholic trying to perform terrible covers of crappy old Motown numbers, accompanied by a few junkies who can’t keep time.

Oh the humanity!!!

In keeping with the spirit of the season, we will be running alternate messages from Sanity Claus to rug-monkeys and promotions for a large credit card provider, right up until Christmas! (Unless we run out first).

Queensland Police got their first chance to deploy their newly acquired TASER electric stun guns yesterday, when a mad old bat took to the roof of an electricity sub-station to protest mobile phone towers;

A POLICE special emergency response team used a stun gun to force a protester down from the roof of a Telstra (sic) sub- station yesterday.

Ms Rogers will appear in court on December 10.

From the footage I saw, the only exposed area for a clean shot with the staples was around her arse, and I know what the result usually is when an electric shock is applied around the clacker- very, very messy.

Nothing like having a 26 watt high voltage induced follow-through on national television to advance your cause.

As expected, the Queensland Council for Civil Liberties is outraged.

A Sydney kebab shop operator, Ali Cretin, is a ‘person of interest” regarding the attempted importation of fourteen Kurds last month, according to Attorney General Phillip Ruddock.

Mr Cretin has admitted being at the same hotel in Indonesia as some of the boatpeople in August.

He said that under laws passed since Mr Cretin’s arrival, he probably would not have been granted citizenship.

Ain’t multiculturalism grand; a poor persecuted individual, obviously terrifed to leave the safe haven of his adopted country, now equipped with an Australian passport feels free to roam the world, striking up friendships with fellow persecutees he happens to meet, and in the spirit of fraternity and entreprenerial endevour tried to help out his mates, and make a quid.

How dare we, or the Minister for that matter, criticise?

This is surely a legitimate refugee program at work.

In any case, according to Mr. Ali, he was not there to transport Turks but to pick up tarts, like any good Allah-fearing Moslem.

I trust he wasn’t using the pick-up techniques favoured by some of his Islamic bretheren in South-West Sydney.