Daily Diatribe

Alleged Wallaby coach Eddie Jones is photographed in Melbourne scouting for potential replacements for incumbent half-back George Gregan.

The prospects being trialed in the photo above are unlikely to get a run, as it is believed the current Wallaby pivot is ensconced in the position until 2050- the selectors are now looking at some embryos with potential, who may be about 20 years of age when George is pried from his post at the rear of the scrum.

Melbourne based nutbar cleric Sheikh Omran stated that jihad is acceptable overseas, but not in Australia.

He also stated that participation in terrorist acts against coalition forces in Iraq is acceptable- “Asked if it was appropriate for Muslim’s to join the holy war against coalition forces in Iraq, Sheik Omran said: “I would say, ‘Yes’.”

In this case I think it would also be appropriate for DIMEA revoke his resident visa as an enemy alien, and he be deported to Iraq immediately, preferably in the hold of a C130 where he can be released to join the other true followers of the prophet around Tikrit from about 30,000 feet.

Fat fascist fundamentalist bastard.

It appears the Wiggles are flavour of the month in the USA, with them selling out 12 shows at Madison Square Garden and scalpers charging up to US$700 for tickets.

Why is everything Australian that is popular in the US also really embarrassing?

Four pillocks in skivvies, poncing about with some transvestive in an Adam Ant outfit, a crappy dog suit, some bizarre giant goanna in a Melbourne Cup hat and some jellyfish looking idiot in a boater- just the sort of highbrow show you expect on Broadway.

72,000 tickets- bloody nora.

And in the spirit of the day, here’s a scary photo of a hideous witch!
BOO!!

(Deadset- have a look at what comes up as 5th match if you google “margo kingston jpg”- I’m not making this up!)

PM John Howard has raised the possibility of the top marginal tax rate threshold being lifted from $62,500 to $75,000.

Not a bad start, but still far too low, and all rates are far too high; anyone on a half-decent income has to do some real fiscal gymnastics in order to retain even a reasonable amout of their earnings.

Howard stated that “he could not make a final decision on any tax cuts until the government had finalised its spending commitments.”

Easy- just keeping the electorate (now firmly attached to the public tit) happy, is the hard part.

90% of Commonwealth spending could dissapear overnight, and the vast majority of the public would not notice; funding for the Yartz, unnecessary consultancies, benefits for failed politicians, government advertising, the list goes on- if they ceased to exist, who would notice, or care?

Government spending should only be on essentials- anything else should be supported by fundraising; then people who care about something pay for it- anyone else can spend their money on what they care about.

In at the office, with my brain at half-mast; why do pubs do rotten acts like flogging pints of Heinneken for a fiver? The only things missing from last night were a projectile chunder, a fight, a decent rugby game and Niall- he proved to be a did not show.

Once again, a pleasant night with solid chaps- we will have to do it again, maybe during the quarter or semi-finals.

I find it somewhat disturbing that a Google search for “jonny wilkinson naked pictures” links up to my site, and even more disturbing that “julia gillard naked pictures” also brings this upright and nude rugby player/Labor harridan photo free site up as number one or two match.

As for the prevert/s out there launching these searches, seek help- quickly; and in the meantime, have yourself fitted with boxing-gloves to reduce self-abuse.

A veritble cornucopia of useful links- something for everyone!
(Not really, these are of use to a very few, some of whom must also be dead).

Go here for Zombie E-Bay .

Run out of teeth, but have plenty of poo? Leave your unsinkable Molly Browns under your pillow, and be rewarded by The Stool Fairy.

Need a pre-moistened towelette, but are too morbidly obese to get off the couch, let alone squeeze into your Suzuki Mighty-Boy and wheeze your way to KFC and order a whole bucket of greasy chicken to get a refresher towelette?

Your problem is solved, for we know all you fat bastards spend all day on the ‘net- go straight to moistnap.com, and they’ll have that layer of bacon grease off your puss lickety-spit!

Brought to you by Useless-Buy, your internet guide to being gypped by Paypal.

**UPDATE*** For all of you who fit the description of the whiners from ACOSS- forever locked into rental, never able to buy property, hope is here!
Yes, for a small price, so low even the most useless welfare-dependant layabout could find it in his poker machine change, you can own your own home!
Be quick- the winds of change are coming!

Ralph Peters in the NY Post:-

October 29, 2003 — LET’S leave the phony pieties and hand-wringing to the presidential aspirants and celebrity journalists. Here’s the truth:

* Thirty-six dead in a series of suicide bombings in Baghdad? The chump change of strategy. Cold-blooded, but true.

* Another American soldier killed in a roadside bombing? Every lost service member matters, but at the present casualty rate it would take 15 years for our dead in Iraq to surpass the number of Americans butchered on 9/11. Better to fight like lions than to die like sheep.

* Iraq another Vietnam? Hell, even Vietnam wasn’t the Vietnam of left-wing baby-talk politics and campus political astrology. Our Vietnamese enemies represented a mass movement. The Iraqi terrorists represent a small, bloodthirsty movement to oppress the masses.

* Did Operation Iraqi Freedom create terrorists? No. It terrorized the terrorists. Now it’s flushing them out of their hiding places. We’ll be killing and capturing them for years. But that’s the only approach that works.

* Has the War on Terror made Americans less safe? Despite the dishonest claims of Democratic presidential hopefuls, the answer is an unequivocal “No!” Where is the evidence that we’re in greater danger now? Where are the terrorist attacks on our cities?

In this war, the only measurement that matters is the absence of attacks. Since 9/11, our government has taken the war to the terrorists and kept us remarkably safe.

* They’ll attack America again and prove the War on Terror was a failure. Bull. Oh, we’ll eventually be hit again. No counter-terror effort will ever be 100 percent effective. But if Terrorist No. 500 gets through, it doesn’t mean there was no value in stopping the first 499. The proof of our success in this war is the undisturbed routine of our daily lives.

* Isn’t there some way to stop the attacks in Iraq? Not in the short term. We face those who wish to turn back the clock, in some cases to the days of Saddam’s rule, in others to a primitive theocracy. Our enemies are fanatics in the truest sense of the word. Every one we kill is a service to humanity.

(Thanks to Zsa Zsa).

A useful guide to kicking off your own doomsday cult- who knows, you might even qualify for a small business grant to get it off the ground; and here’s one already established, if you would rather follow than lead.

What with all the war, famine, plague, pestilence and uncontrollable solar flares, its got to be a growth market, and don’t worry about those troublesome wrongful dismissal laws when dealing with recalcitrant followers- there’s always the Cool-Aid personnel redeployment strategy.