Daily Diatribe

Israel has taken the offer of a cease-fire by Hamas and Islamic Jihad about as seriously as I have. The only way these idiots will cease fire is if they are off partying with the requisite number of black eyed virgins in Mujahadeen Valhalla- they don’t know anything else, and most of them have nothing else to do with their time.
Palestinians are really the world’s ultimate talk-back radio callers- if they aren’t being persecuted and oppressed they have no life.
Could it be that the targeting of the Hamas leadership by the IDF is starting to pay dividends?

It looks like even US Marines who have had nothing to leer at except camels for the last six months still could not come at putting the hard word on The Margoyle- going by her latest spray, Americans are all arseholes.
Margo put on her best boilersuit and headed for the ‘Cross, but even the Daphnes from the engine room found the prospect of cracking on to Margo beyond the pale.
On other Margoyle matters, this item is enough to make me lose my lunch- on one hand the ratbag is bagging the US for its christian fundamentalism, then she turns around and slips her prehensile tongue down the back of Brian Harradine’s pants; yes, Brian the re-animated corpse of Archbishop Mannix, is Margo’s pin-up boy, as he was one of the idiots in the Senate who blocked legislation which may have led to the sale of Fairfax to an actual publisher, which would have seen The Margoyle lining up at Centrelink on Monday morning.
In a related item, the looney is relating the opening up of the media market to ownership by whoever wants to put their own money into the purchase of media suppliers to the rise of rule by some fantasy group of Blackshirts. Even if Kerry 1 and Kerry 2 wound up owning everything, what about the organ so beloved by the fruitcake left, the oracle of all that’s correct (politically, anyway), the Anarcho Bolshevik Collective?
Could this be a tacit admission that there is a danger in all commercial media being in a small number of hands, because NO BUGGER WATCHES OR LISTENS TO THE BLOODY ABC?

Ordeal by fire, anyone? I’m not a warlock, but I would pork a goat and drink the blood of sacrificed toddlers if the ATO gave me tax exempt status.
Why should any religion be tax-ex? What about us atheists? I don’t believe in anything much, but what I particularly don’t believe in is working three days a week to provide revenue for every level of government to pour into a bottomless septic tank.

Of course the reason the funds were withdrawn for the prize awarded to a Brunswick Heads pinhead for her play was because of a vast Neo-Catholic right wing conspiracy, not because the play in question is a load of cobblers. The real pity is that the Australia Council isn’t bound by the same judgment of quality- there would be shitloads left in the budget if funding was withdrawn from every work that was a pile of shit.

This looks like my kind of publication.
I wonder if it has handy hints, such as how you get congealed vomit out of the stitchwork and decopage’ on the top of brogues?

Quavery old bat Katherine Hepburn has popped her clogs at 96, and not before time.
I couldn’t stand the crabby old cow, and hated virtually every movie she appeared in.
If I had been the Humphrey Bogart character in “The African Queen”, I would have flogged her off to some towel-head slave traders and spent the money on booze, or handed her over to the sausage-eaters.
(Either way, it would have come back to haunt him- the Huns or the Arabs would want to get even for inflicting the whiny old trout on them).
There’s an old saying that famous deaths come in threes- nominate who you would like the other two to be.
(Gregory Peccary doesn’t count, as it was weeks ago).
I’m hoping for Bob Hope, but I think he has a portrait in his attic going mouldy- why would you sell your soul for the oldest and worst jokes in the universe? There are species of mould on a barren moon circling a planetoid in the crab nebula who know the punchlines to Bob’s gags.

The New York Film Festival is to open with Filthy Harold’s new movie.
Clint is using a new catch-phrase with this one, which will no doubt catch on with senior viewers; “Go ahead- cash my Social Security cheque”. There are others as well- the dialogue is peppered with them: “It’s too cold in here.” “It’s too noisy in here.”
“What are all those teenagers doing? I’m scared.” “My colostomy bag is leaking- looks like I’m shit out of luck.”
Clint would have introduced the new Smith and Wesson 500 to the buying public in this new outing by shooting several black people, as is his his want, but it was found that his wizened frame could not support the 20lb weight of the weapon, and the recoil would have removed his radius and ulna from their socket and deposited them several feet away from the actor.

Looks like we have a new fashion trend in self-administered amputations. A leg I could understand- you would only have to buy one shoe, but that extra sleeve is just going to be wasted.

Tim Blair links to a review of the Hildebeest’s new tome in the “Atlantic Monthly” by PJ O’Rourke, a much better item than the one run in the “Australian” on Saturday by Roy Eccleston- very tame, and a slithery review by Stephen Romei.
I would love to see Billary run and be beaten like a gong- she is popular in wefare addicted and rent control riddled New York, but outside of there (And particularly in the South, a Democrat stronghold), the Hildebeest is as popular as a dose of clap.

Emperor Misha has a post on an open letter to George W. Bush by the Baleen Bolshevik- what’s the matter, fat boy, publicity getting thin? At least SOMETHING in the vicinity of your critical mass is losing weight.