Daily Diatribe

Re Tex’s item on “Crossing Over” on Channel 10- something else has always intrigued me with these new-age crystal rubbing psychics- if it works, why do they work? they must have every lotto draw beforehand, so why do they have to take money off stupid and gullible people who have had some-one they know kark it?
The best example was while I was perusing the Gold Coast Bulletin on the weekend, there was an ad for a psychic fair- if it exists, why do they have to advertise? They would already know.
Torqumada wasn’t all wrong- bring back the bastinado.

Post-script to the previous post- any proceeds from sale of shares will go to the Tim Blair fund for one-way airfares for peaceniks to be human shields in Bhagdad. I’ll kick off with fifty bucks, as long as the first one is Bob Brown.

Just off the reuters wire- Turkish paramilitary police have seized 33lbs of weapons grade plutonium on the Turkey/Syria/Iraq border- of course ‘lil Saddie don wanna trubble wit war no’ mo’

I am offering for sale shares in the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre for all punters who believe the Iraqis have no nuclear intentions, and want to live in peace and harmony with all us hippies.

Contact me on dailydiatribe@rumcorps.net for payment details- cash only.

I’m all for Bob Browns idea for a 25c tax on plastic bags at supermarkets, as long as it is matched with a carbon levy on Greens Senators.
The perfectly good oxygen that is converted into greenhouse-causing carbon dioxide by the the flatulent and fatuous babbling generated by these environmentaly unfreindly creatures should be taxed- say at $50/m3 of emitted carbon dioxide- that should well and truly cover any shortfall we miss out on with carbon credits through not signing Kyoto, and if they don’t want to pay, we can always use the plastic bags they so loathe to remove them from the carbon chain.
Win-Win all round!

Been AWOL for a few days- I’m sick of telling you idiots what to think, anyway- it’s not as if i’m Phillip Adams or John Laws.

Gerhard Schroeder and the rest of his bed-wetting tree-hugging lederhosen-encased sausage-eaters need to remember who got rid of Hitler- the Iraqis?
Who rebuilt the German economy so it could produce BMWs and Mercedes for well-heeled hoodlums and yuppies- the Iraqis?
Who put the USSR under so much pressure they said “uncle”‘ and got rid of the Berlin Wall- the Iraqis?
Who can stop buying BMWs and Mercedes and consign the German economy to the banknote wallpaper days of the Weimar Republic- the Iraqis, maybe, the USA certainly.

Come on Gerhard, you have the genetic predisposition for invasion/occupation/re-education- just think
Iraq=Poland. (There’s membership in the club of actual nations that count in it for you).

There also seems to be a concerted effort to compare arseholes of the past, with arseholes of the present.

Certainly US regeimes backed Pinochet, and various other odious pieces of shit-
Who hasn’t woken up with something they later regret?

Not personal but close experience has seen someone I know waking up with a Yak- and the Yak was cranky- who knows who our bed-mates are?

you never know- they might wind up being liberals!

I must admit to having sat through an entire episode of “Beauty and the Beast”- I am on holidays for chrissake.

It did turn out worthwhile, as I sat granite faced with the cat, through the usual cobblers that is dispensed in these low-brow items, when one of the vacuous females roming the audience got a real one-
This Bloke was a 5th generation Digger- his kids were Luitenant Colonel/Major Genreral- his kids kids were serving Diggers- and he basically asked all the dickheads who are so opposed to the Army taking place
in the hi-jinks in Iraq, how many of you are in the Army, and if you aren’ t, shut the fuck up!

This old bloke made the whole thing worthwhile by first going through his and his family’s background, then told Doug Mulray he was a wanker.
Anything from thereon in was a bonus.

If any of your atecedents were in the RAAF- Per Adua Ad Astra.

Thank the Good Lord, Great Magnet, the Unholy One or whatever your deity of choice may be, that Al Gore didn’t win the florida recount.
If he had, I would say that Baghdad would now be the centre of the Greater Asia Minor Co-Prosperity Sphere, with Mr. S. Hussain as Grand Poo-Bah.
It’s no wonder the greens etc all love Al- he comes from the same planet.
If you vaguely recall “The Hitchikers Guide to the Universe”, I see this planet as being not unlike that of the Belcerebons of Kakrafoon, Al and his pals are highly reminiscent of their later form- large jelly-like heads full of meaningless babble, loosley based on previously held beliefs.(And they may or not have been Pre-escient, and if they were, they could have pre-seen the attack on Western Civilisation) - raises another point- if mindreading, prescience and all of this other hippie bullsit is real, why the fuck do we have to have advertising for an upcoming event?
Hippiedom was a proven failure at the end of the 1970s- why are there so many of these atavistic arseholes infesting the planet, and the media, with their decaying value systems and vacuous, illogical and impossible notions?

Time for a reality check- and maybe the MIB should start rounding up some of these peacenoids for return to the Crab nebulae.
Dibs on strapping Al Gore (and the humourless feminist of your choice) to the nose-cone of the next Saturn 5 to depart.

[9/23/02 22.10h C.]
Melbourne……thank you to Nic Tonti-whatsisname for yet again proscribing reasonable behaviour in the name of Catholic dogma.
Gee…as if being born without a neurological deficit was something to be ashamed of…..
It’s not as if deafness would be associated with other problems , like cardiac or renal problems after all….

Gee , Nic….who’d have thought medical intervention could change so much…..how’s your Transplant going ?
Send it back…or your ethics degree…..
C.

[9/23/02 22.10h|C. ]]
…oh dear…Malcolm Turnbull is being a complete prat again…what a surprise….

Gee, Mal…what do you want us to do….vote for you….ignore your involvement in HIH……procreate?…fuck you Malcolm…you’re the only reason the republican movement has a bad name…..I hope you die with us still a monarchy…..
C.